Thunder John: From Russia with Love (and pushups)

November 24, 2010

93,025 pushups completed
906,975 pushups to go
3,211 pushups ahead of schedule


Greetings weblog fans! Many developments in the world of pushups since my last post. Can't wait to get started; I'm as excited as a stray dog who's found a bologna sandwich. So here we go.

First of all, mad props to my chums AndyV and Swad. They've put together some hilarious animated shorts depicting Thunder John and his enthusiasm for pushups. Here are the links. Fair warning that there is some language so don't show to your kids:

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7734701
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7792243
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7745049

A Special Visitor:

A cold breeze blew into Glen Ellyn this Thanksgiving. My cousin "Thunder Sergei" Adduciovsky popped in for a visit. He is my communist doppelganger as witnessed by the picture below.

Behind the iron curtain he was once a revered sex symbol and toast of the town. Unfortuantely that town is Karabash, Russia, whose nickel smelting operation was key in earning its reputation as the most polluted town in the world. Here is a picture of my cousin bearing two gifts from the East:

Thunder Sergei, a Bottle of Russian Power Drink, and a Mail Order Bride

Sergei had not heard that I was already married. Mail travels slowly in Siberia. "In Mother Russia, the post office stamps and mails YOU!" was a popular joke in his home town.

Sergei made himself at home immediately. He became fascinated with Nick! At Nite. "That Balki Bartokomous is my hero. America or Burst!" and "This TJ Hooker... he is superhuman!" So he watched Tv,drank all the vodka, whiskey and brass monkey in my pantry and next began mixing up some crystal meth in my bathtub. "In Mother Russia, we like to rock and / or roll!" Well that was the last straw. I'd had enough of his oversized sunglasses and Adrian Zmed fascination. And I draw the line at bathtub related felonies. He had to go; I bid Sergei adieu. After realizing I was serious, in a fury he vowed to cut out the eyeballs of my parents. But these Russians are mostly bluster, so I still sleep quite soundly.

This has been fun. For me. Probably not so much for you. Still; Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Be thankful that you live in a country where the processing of heavy metals and the smelting industry in general does not seep into the drinking water. Unless Erin Brockovich is involved. Then all bets are off.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin the thunder, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups, makin' it rain"