Mini-post: Thunder John Certificates are IN

No count updates.  Let's concentrate on the NOTHING BUT NETS message:

Sponsor for as little as $1 and earn a Thunder John Certificate.

Thanks to the James and Laura McLaughlin family for being my first donors, as well as the inaugural members of the Thunder John circle of Honor!

Click Here to Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" Team

Click HERE for more information about Nothing But Nets

Make your donation now and earn your certifiate.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Happy New Year! The 2011 Totals are IN!

January 1, 2012
206,100 pushups completed
793,900 pushups to go
6,210 pushups ahead of schedule

2011 Total:  101,100 pushups
For those of you who were waiting until the end of 2011 to make your Nothing but Nets donation, the total for 2011 is listed above. At $0.0001 per pushup, for example, that's a $10.11 donation and it will put you in the Adlai Stevenson level of giving.  I'll be emailing certificates over the next few weeks to all donors.  Remember it's all tax deductible. Below is a link. 

Click now to Join Thunder John's Nothing but Nets team!

Peace Out,

Thunder John

"Bringing the pushups, Packing the Pain, Loaded with Pushups - Making it Rain!"

"I'm Not Showing!" Guest Blogger: Mrs. Thunder John.

November 16, 2011
193,650 pushups completed
806,350 pushups to go
6,082 pushups ahead of schedule

Dear Thunder John Fans,

Thunder John is a little under the weather this week, so he's asked me to fill in for him.  So it's me, "Mrs. Thunder John" - ha!  That's how he refers to me in this blog, doesn't he?  I don't actually READ the blog you understand, but I hear tales.  Tales of how huge he's getting, right?  Puh-leeze!  That chicken necked so-and-so takes 3 swats to kill a fly.  Seriously, when you've heard a man scream "uncle" that many times...

And what about that name, "Thunder John".  If anyone in this family should be handing out studly nicknames to themselves, it should be me.

Did you know that I'm seven months pregnant?  No, I'll bet you didn't.  Due date is January 25.  You don't believe it?  That's because I'm not even showing yet!  Am I?  Be honest, I can take it... Don't lie to me!  I'm the same weight I was last year!  I'll kill you allll!  Arrrrrghhh ha ha haha a-hahaha!!!!

That's OK.  I'm better now.  Go to a happy place... a happy place... a happy place...

Click Here to go to a Happy Place

John is SUCH a tough guy... don't make me LAUGH!  Ohmygod, 275 pushups a day for ten years... I'm SO impressed... more like 275 of the most sloppily formed, fish flops just shy of doing them on his knees.  What's that take, six minutes a day? 

TRY CARRYING 20 POUNDS OF PLACENTA ON YOUR MIDSECTION 24/7!  That's what I call tough!  You men are all alike!  You did this to me!  Why did you do this to me?  AHHHH  wah wah wahhhh... chocolate.

OK, (panting)... better again. So according to my husband, the pushups are still going like gangbusters.  6,0000 or so ahead of schedule.  Whoop-de-doop.  He actually used that phrase, "gangbusters".

He thinks he's so funny with his old timey languge. 

He's even getting the kids to talk old timey.  Janie, our 3 year old, came up to me and said the following after eating dessert:  "I have three words to say about that cupcake... 'OOOH', 'LAH', and 'LAAAAHHH'!"  John trained her to do that.  What the F was that?  So annoying to live with someone who thinks they're funny.  Then you have to feed his ego... "oh, yeah, sure John, that's SOO great, just hilarious honey"!  BARF.

Why can't I be the funny one sometimes?  You know what a guy's definition of a girl with a good sense of humor is, don't you?  Someone who laughs at their lame jokes.  It is so unfair!  He's so not funny!  I told ya I'd shoot... but you didn't BELIEVE me!  WHY didn't you believe me?  What?  Where am I?  No, John's OK, I swear.  Sometimes I just blurt these things out.  It's the hormones.  It's science.

What's that?  You want to hear from him?  No, I'm sorry, he's just not available.  I think it's time I sign out.

Peace,
Thunder Molly Adduci

"Bringin' the baby, Packin' the diapers, Loaded with Gerber - I've got to Pee!"

Click here to Join the Thunder John Nothing But Nets Team!

p.s. Care to join the Thunder John "Nothing But Nets" team?  Just click the link a and sign up: IT IS JUST THAT EASY!  You too can be a member of the Thunder John "Circle of Honor", along with the McLaughlin family, the first to reach that lofty level of giving.  And remember, it's 100% tax deductible.

Mail Bag: Thunder John to Farmers: "Thank You Again"

November 5, 2011
190,225 pushups completed
809,775 pushups to go
5,669 pushups ahead of schedule


Mail call!  Thunder John's Maibag is bursting at its burlap seams.  Time to answer some questions from my fans.

***
Dear Thunder John,

Daylight Savings time was established by Congress to assist the nation's farmers.  As explained in the Uniform Time Act of 1966, just wanted to remind you that we will be turning our clocks back tonight at 2am.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed.  And your forearms are getting to be massive.  Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
Adoring Farmers everywhere

Dear Farmers,

Thank you for the extra hour. A 25 hour day means that many more opportunities for Thunder John to add to his total. I'll be up at 2am making the most of it.

Thanks,
Thunder John
***


Dear Thunder John,
Just wanted to let you know... if our album "Brothers in Arms" was released today, given the size of your biceps, we would've made it a double album.
Best Regards,
Mark Knopfler, Dire Straits

Dear Mark,

That's sweet, thank you.

But you are not alone. AC/DC had the same problem with their song "Big Gun". They plan to re-release it as a tribute to me called "Big Guns".
"Big Guns" will be a B-side cut released with the remake of the song "Thunderstruck", of course renamed "ThunderJohn".

Take care,
TJ
***
Dear Thunder John,

It has been said/sung that we are the future.  We are supposed to be taught well and then - let us lead the way.  We'll show YOU all the beauty we possess inside.  I'll tell you something - that's a lot of pressure!  That said, the example you have set with your steadfast climb to 1,000,000 pushups serves as an inspiration to us all.  Please keep us in mind, don't give up, we're all counting on you.

Sincerely,
The Children of the World

Dear Children,
As if I didn't have enough problems.  Now I'm responsible for your future?  Teach you what?  I didn't ask for this.  Give a man some room to breathe - you're smothering me. 

Regards,
TJ
ps - the best version of that song was done in the movie "Coming to America", by Eddie Murphy and his backup band Sexual Chocolate.  "That boy's good"!

Sexual Chocolate sings "Children are the Future"

***
Dear TJ,
What up my homey! Word on the street is that you be livin' large and in charge. Fo' shizzle.  TJ's better not be coming down to the hood tryin' to jack us up with those prime time guns of his or there is gonna be trouble.

Sincerely,
Tyrone X. Washington

Dear TXW,
I'm not Barbara Billingsley and I don't speak jive. Go back to Mexico. 
***
Dear Thunder,
Wanted to thank you for that pep talk you gave to me and the boys on the #1 ranked LSU football team.  Going into our game against #2 Alabama I was a ball of nevers; that call you made to our locker room at halftime really fired us up with a national championship on the line.  Our victory over Alabama was in no small part thanks to your influence.  I know your grandfather Andy Marchese went to LSU- you tell him there's a mesh baseball cap coming his way in the mail as a token of our gratitude.

Thanks Again,
Les Miles, head football coach, LSU

Dear Les,
All I did was hold the receiver up to my biceps and flex.  You're welcome.
***

Dear TJ,

Hey, ho, I'm not a-so sure you're pushups are a good for your health. I've got your diagnosis right here...  you said you looked in the mirror this morning and wanted to throw up... well, not sure what's wrong with you, but your eyesight is perfect.  Want a second opinion?  You're ugly too.  Ba-da bing!  Stop by some time and pay your bill.

Dr. Vinnie Boombatz

Dear Dr. Boombatz,
I think you've got the wrong guy... Rodney Dangerfield died 2 years ago.
-TJ
***

More mail next week.

Peace out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain!"

Thunder John visits Lowell Elementary School

October 5, 2011
180,650 pushups completed
819,350 pushups to go
4,881 pushups ahead of schedule

News Flash!  Thunder John visited Lowell Elementary School in Wheaton, IL.  The "Pushups Superhero" talked to the children about the importance of staying active.  The P.E. teacher at the school, Mrs. Maryanne Minser, arranged for the visit to coincide with "International Walk to School Day". 

This Just In!  The Masked Muscleman next inspired the crowd with the story of his quest to 1,000,000 pushups.  He then ripped off his business suit to expose the "TJ" logo on his supersuit and proceeded to do 10 push-ups with the children.

Hot off the Press!  An extended autograph session followed where TJ signed over 100 autographs.  No joke, those kids were excited to see Thunder John in all his glory.  Thank you to Mrs. Minser for the extended buildup - I hope the visit lived up to at least 1% of what you talked it up to be.

Thunder John at Lowell Elementary School "Go Outside and PLAY" assembly

Thunder John's pushups crusade is more than just for fun.  Like the Highlights magazine, it's fun with a porpoise.  Purpose?  Anyway, if you would like to sponsor Thunder John by joining his "Nothing but Nets" team, click the link below.  It's completely tax deductible and a great cause.

Click here to join TJ's Nothing But Nets team!

And if you're in the Western Suburbs of Chicago, check out the picture of Thunder John on page 3 of the front section in the Daily Herald.

Peace out,

Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain!"

Above and Beyond

September 13, 2011
174,625 pushups completed
825,375 pushups to go
4,581 pushups ahead of schedule

Greetings pushups fans!  Thunder John here.  You there.  The pushups continue to mount.  Rocky has been playing on AMC lately, and I find myself inspired.  It doesn't matter if it's Rocky's determined grit, Apollo Creed's braggadaccio, or Pauly's drunken tirades against Adrian - the movie inspires me to do pushups.  I'm over the MOON about this movie and all of it's sequel children.

Nearing the end of year two of my fool's errand, it's hard to believe that I've got 8+ years to go until completion.  I'm glad that I have you my blog fans to kvetch to and kibbitz with along the way.  You're quite a mensch you know.  I'm kvelling here... shalom!

I just heard that Charlie Callas died.  Stand Up Comedy has lost a prince.  His sets were comedy of the highest order.

Carrot Top made a movie.  "Chairman of the Board".  Do yourself a favor and do not rent it.  It should have been spelled "Chairman of the Bored".

*** NOW FOR SOME IMPORTANT NEWS: ***

Thunder John's Nothing but Nets team has it's first donor, and it's a real doozy.  Kudos and an immense Thunder John thank you to Mr and Mrs Laura/James McLaughlin.  They made an extremely generous donation of $100 to Thunder John's Nothing But Nets team, which on its own merit will buy 10 malaria fighting nets for families in Africa.

This gains the McLaughlin family immediate access to "Thunder John's Circle of Honor" and all the privileges that entails.  Here's the keys to the restroom.  Enjoy your stay in the first class Thunder Lounge, and Thanks Again!

If you want to join in on all the fun... perhaps you can only donate at the Adlai Stevenson level at this time, or perhaps you're a Mighty Mouse; every penny counts.  Just click this link and sign up for the team:  IT IS JUST THAT EASY:

Click here to Join the Team! 

OK, my blog is done. 

Peace,
Thunder John

"Bringin the thunder, packin the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain!"

Why? An essay by Thunder John

August 26, 2011
169,875 pushups completed
830,125 pushups to go
4,760 pushups ahead of schedule.

August... back when I was a teacher 1995-98, we called August "the longest Sunday".  It looks like Thunder John has taken an August vacation from updating his blog.  Well now I'm back and it's time to clear the air.  There's a few things I need to get off my chest. 

Let's get something straight:  I'm not doing this blog for the money. 

I'm not in it for the glory.

I'm not in it for the extra airport patdowns. 

I'm not in it for the extra chicken drumstick I just got in my KFC order. 

I'm not in it for the attentions of every blog savvy cougar in the western suburbs. 

I'm not even in it for my own health. 

Not for the love of a woman, a man, butcher, baker or candlestick maker. 

I'm not in it to prevent the trademark "hairy guitar" thirtysomething body type that has plagued my bloodline lo these many years

I'm not in it for the benjamins. 

I am not in it to win it. 

I am not doing this to get back at my "rolling stone" father nor my alcoholic mother*. 

I am not doing this to prove something to myself. 

I am not doing this to prove something to someone else. 

I am not doing this for the attention. 

Nor, based on the # of website hits, am I doing this to be left alone. 

I fear no man.  I fear no dog.  I fear no evil.  I fear several women, but I've come a long way since high school.  Still, I am not doing this out of fear.

So... why am I doing this?  I'll answer that question:  Why Not?

You say, "how could it help:?  I say, "how could it hurt"? (ignoring all risk of rotatur cuff injury)

It's better to be doing  something... than to be doing nothing. 

A shark has to keep moving forward or else it dies.  It is important to keep moving forward, experiencing new things.  I've never done a million of anything.  Since Wilt Chamberlain proved the upper limit on some other pursuits is about 20,000 over the course of 40 years, I decided to do 1,000,000 pushups in 10 years.  A reasonable goal.  It seemed doable.  So, game on. 

Reach for your dreams people!  Thunder John has left the building! 

Peace!

Thunder John
"Bringin the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded the pushups - makin' it rain!"

* - my mother is not a drinker and my father was not a rolling stone. I never said they were. I said I am NOT in it for that reason.  By the same logic, I sometimes call Molly my "first wife" or "roommate".  Both true statements.  My lady, inexplicably, is not amused.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  women are a labyrinth my friend. 

p.s: 
Bluto: Kroger, your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto.
Pinto: Why "Pinto"?
Bluto: [belches] Why not?

p.p.s - If you found this blog posting inspirational, feel free to join Team Thunder John.  Help me to help bring mosquito netting to Africa.  Through the power of pushups we can help eradicate malaria deaths in Africa's children
http://www.globalproblems-globalsolutions.org/site/TR/Events/NBN?pg=team&fr_id=1040&team_id=4730