November 16, 2011
193,650 pushups completed
806,350 pushups to go
6,082 pushups ahead of schedule
Dear Thunder John Fans,
Thunder John is a little under the weather this week, so he's asked me to fill in for him. So it's me, "Mrs. Thunder John" - ha! That's how he refers to me in this blog, doesn't he? I don't actually READ the blog you understand, but I hear tales. Tales of how huge he's getting, right? Puh-leeze! That chicken necked so-and-so takes 3 swats to kill a fly. Seriously, when you've heard a man scream "uncle" that many times...
And what about that name, "Thunder John". If anyone in this family should be handing out studly nicknames to themselves, it should be me.
Did you know that I'm seven months pregnant? No, I'll bet you didn't. Due date is January 25. You don't believe it? That's because I'm not even showing yet! Am I? Be honest, I can take it... Don't lie to me! I'm the same weight I was last year! I'll kill you allll! Arrrrrghhh ha ha haha a-hahaha!!!!
That's OK. I'm better now. Go to a happy place... a happy place... a happy place...
John is SUCH a tough guy... don't make me LAUGH! Ohmygod, 275 pushups a day for ten years... I'm SO impressed... more like 275 of the most sloppily formed, fish flops just shy of doing them on his knees. What's that take, six minutes a day?
TRY CARRYING 20 POUNDS OF PLACENTA ON YOUR MIDSECTION 24/7! That's what I call tough! You men are all alike! You did this to me! Why did you do this to me? AHHHH wah wah wahhhh... chocolate.
OK, (panting)... better again. So according to my husband, the pushups are still going like gangbusters. 6,0000 or so ahead of schedule. Whoop-de-doop. He actually used that phrase, "gangbusters".
He thinks he's so funny with his old timey languge.
He's even getting the kids to talk old timey. Janie, our 3 year old, came up to me and said the following after eating dessert: "I have three words to say about that cupcake... 'OOOH', 'LAH', and 'LAAAAHHH'!" John trained her to do that. What the F was that? So annoying to live with someone who thinks they're funny. Then you have to feed his ego... "oh, yeah, sure John, that's SOO great, just hilarious honey"! BARF.
Why can't I be the funny one sometimes? You know what a guy's definition of a girl with a good sense of humor is, don't you? Someone who laughs at their lame jokes. It is so unfair! He's so not funny! I told ya I'd shoot... but you didn't BELIEVE me! WHY didn't you believe me? What? Where am I? No, John's OK, I swear. Sometimes I just blurt these things out. It's the hormones. It's science.
What's that? You want to hear from him? No, I'm sorry, he's just not available. I think it's time I sign out.
Peace,
Thunder Molly Adduci
"Bringin' the baby, Packin' the diapers, Loaded with Gerber - I've got to Pee!"
p.s. Care to join the Thunder John "Nothing But Nets" team? Just click the link a and sign up: IT IS JUST THAT EASY! You too can be a member of the Thunder John "Circle of Honor", along with the McLaughlin family, the first to reach that lofty level of giving. And remember, it's 100% tax deductible.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments? Why do you bother! Loser.
ReplyDelete