"Who's better than Thunder John"? A short list of big names.

February 13, 2018
812,650 pushups completed
187,350 to go
492 pushups ahead of schedule



Thunder John has been too busy to post.  But not too busy to do pushups.  Still keeping it real for all you little people.  I don't mean that you all are little people figuratively, I mean literally - compared to Thunder John.

It's the nature of the business and I make no excuses for it.  It doesn't make Thunder John better than you - just bigger.  And bigger is better.  So maybe it does.  At least in the sleeves.

Anyway, here is a list of people that I, Thunder John can still look up to: feel free to google them.  Don't cost nuthin'. 

Hulk Hogan (aka Terry Bollea)
Carl Weathers
Jose Canseco
Steven Seagal (from Hard Target)
Barry Foote
Professor Jon Klauss
Greg (Not Bryant) Gumbel
Zeus "Tiny" Lister
Richard Crenna
Dolph Lundgren
Rip Taylor
Paul Lynde
Dick Tidrow
OddJob (from Goldfinger - the guy that threw the hats)
Meshach Taylor
Demond Wilson
Sylvester Stallone
Mr. T
...and that's about it.


Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Rip Taylor, King of Confetti
http://riptaylor.com

The former host of "The $1.98 Beauty Show" and guest star on "The Monkees," Taylor used to celebrate his 39th birthday every year with a scene that The Times said once featured a "lady of the night" vampire with a coffin, a dancing birthday cake and an 8-foot chicken.

Incommunicado

January 9, 2017
702,800 pushups completed
297,200 pushups to go
445 pushups ahead of schedule


ThunderJohn has gone dark but sent this update to his BlogSpot via encrypted message sent roosterback through parts unknown.  Pray that he completes his mission by the pre-determined 12/31/2019 date. 


Peace Out,
Thunder John


"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Thunder John Inspires Youth! To Dance! And Donate to save a life!

November 5, 2015
586,400 pushups completed
413,600 pushups to go
2,063 pushups ahead of schedule

Quick post for all my die hard fans:  I made my annual journey to Lowell Elementary school in Wheaton, IL,  to promote their "Walk to school Day".  This is the one day per year when Thunder John is treated like royalty, a real celebrity.  Thank you, P.E. teacher (and Aunt extraordinaire) Maryanne Minser for the invitation.  Here is a selfie of me with the school principal and all of our adoring fans:

"Principal Melton:  She puts the PAL in principal!"

And click the link below to see Thunder John "Whip!"... and then "Ne-Ne" in front of the school.  I believe at some point, I also do the dance move known as the "stanky leg".  Thank goodness for the mask.

Thunder John Dances at Lowell Elementary 2015

Speaking of clicking on links... do you have a bunch of money burning a hole in your bank account?  Want to do something really worthwhile?  Well then, please consider donating to Thunder John's "Nothing but Nets" team.   "Nothing But Nets" is a great charity providing life saving nets to families in Africa at risk of contracting malaria.

Read Rick Reilly's article describing the team:  he really puts it in perspective. 

Nothing But Nets Article - Rick Reilly

Instead of buying that new pair of Nike Elite socks (which are $17 by the way, far more than the $10 cost of each net) or Ticket to your next terrible Vin Diesel movie, consider a small donation by clicking the link below.

Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" team!

My apologies to Vin Diesel.  I didn't mean it.  I also live my life, one quarter mile at a time. 

Donate to the team!  It's entirely tax deductible, a real charity I swear.  I don't wet my beak, even a little.

Well, that's enough of that.  Peace out,

Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

ps - still need incentive to donate?  are you made of stone?  have you no HEART, sir?  Come on!  Just $10 could save a life.  Maybe YOURS*!

* - your life will probably not be the one that is saved, unless you are reading this blog, lying on an uncovered cot in Africa, about ready to go to sleep for the night.  If this is you, then you are at risk.  All for want of a $10 net.   

#itsbeenawhile - #still pushin it #ThunderJohn8

August 30, 2015
567,875 pushups completed
432,125 pushups to go
1,610 pushups ahead of schedule

Welcome back, Thunder John fans!  To quote the acquired taste band Creed, "it's been a while".

And even though Creed is a taste I have never personally acquired, I still think you should quote Creed whenever possible.  Just look at these lyrics!

"Court is now in session,
A verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today"

.. now that's a pop song baby!
#ScottStapptastic

Funny thing I just realized... I've never mentioned Salt N Pepa's "Push It" in this blog.  Well let's keep that streak alive.  #c+cmusicfactorydiditbetter  #everybodydancenow

********************
As you might have noticed, I now have a Twitter Handle.  It's #ThunderJohn8.  Some poser already had #ThunderJohn.  Can you believe that?  And I went with ThunderJohn8 instead of ThunderJohn1 because, well, I don't know, I just think it looked better.
#barryfooteworenumber8     #sodidAndreDawson

So check out my twitter feed.  They say it's blowing up  #likediarrhea  #dontbegross

********************
Back to Creed...  despite the best efforts of lead singer Scott Stapp, the band Creed is not even the most quotable Creed.  I'm talking of course of Rocky 1 - IV star Apollo Creed, played by Carl Weathers.  To wit:

Rocky:  "Apollo Creed vs. the Italian Stallion. Sounds like a damn monster movie. "
Rocky II:  Apollo: This man is dangerous? I'm dangerous! I'm dangerous! 
Rocky III:   THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW! 

Rocky IV:  "Well, I've been with the best, and I've BEAT the best! I've retired more men than Social Security! "

Carl Weathers.  From Rocky to Predator to Happy Gilmore, he can simply act.
#areyouhavingastrokeThunderJohn?
#maryreilly

********************

Speaking of Carls...
#whenwerewespeakingofCarls?  #istoppedpayingattention

I heard there is going to be another Rocky movie.  It's a spinoff where Rocky trains Apollo's son to be a fighter.  I love spinoffs.  Almost always they are great, sometimes eclipsing the original.  To wit:

All in the Family --&;The Jeffersons -->Maude --> Good Times -->Golden Girls

Cheers --> Fraser --> Dallas --> Knots Landing
#willthisblogeverend?

Happy Days -->Laverne and  Shirley -->Mork and Mindy -->Star Wars I:  Phantom Menace

The Cosby Show --> A Different World --> Sinbad (Sinbad once did an entire comedy special in a jumpsuit)

But do you know what was the most outrageous spinoff?

Die Hard --> Family Matters.

Reginald VelJohnson was the twinkie eating cop who Bruce Willis was talking with from the Nakatomi Plaza... he was the only cop on the outside who would listen and helped him bring down the terrorists.
#worstblogentryever

So what came next for the terrorist beating, twinkie chomping supercop I know as Reggie VJ?

He then became Carl Winslow, the Urkel-tormented father on "Family Matters"!  That show ran from 1988 - 1998 and became a syndication powerhouse.  Pair "Family Matters" with a little "Perfect Strangers", "Amazing Stories" and "Golden Girls", you've got a perfect Friday night, according to a teenage John Adduci.

#poorlighting

#saywhatyouwill #abouttheblog  #thisphotoisprettycool

Reginald VelJohnson imdb page

********************

Pushups.  This is a pushups blog.  Right.  So I'm still ahead of pace, and I'm still going to complete my one millionth pushup by 12/31/2019.  Put the champale on ice, I'm less than 4 1/2 years away!

Peace,
#ThunderJohn8

"#Bringin'thethunder, #packin'thepain, #loadedwithpushups - #makin'itRAIN"

It's a Christmas******* MIRACLE!

December 20, 2014
499,000 pushups completed
501,000 pushups to go
2,286 pushups ahead of schedule

People of Earth,

Thunder John, back again.  Droppin' pushups like Galileo dropped the ORANGE*.

People come up to me all the time and ask me, "What Time is It?"  No, that's irrelevant, they also ask me "Is Thunder John still doing the pushups?"  And the answer to that question is, yes.  Yes I am.

And that's the problem with updating the blog... What can I say that I have not said before?  Yes, the number of posts to this blog has severely decreased.  I've been funneling my creative juices towards Fantasy Football updates and high school referee heckling ("IF YOU HAD ONE MORE EYE YOU'D BE A CYCLOPS**", or "HEY, BLIND MAN, KICK YOUR DOG.... HE'S LYING TO YOU!***" are two of my favorites).  But those are transitory pleasures, gone like a fart**** in the wind and not saved for posterity like this blog.

Ultimately, this pushups blog is history.  It can be difficult to find time to update, post, proofread, and then wait nervously by the computer to see how many pageviews... but the juice is worth the squeeze.  Anything worthwhile involves a little pain.

Speaking of that, I'm writing this blog while watching my kids at swim practice.  Good lord, swimming is a tough sport.  My daughter May is 8 and just swam for 45 minutes.  Patrick is 10 years old and he's doing a 1hr 15 min swim practice right now.  They swim lap after lap after lap... last week i did a workout for 45 minutes, swam about a mile, and I was completely GASSED!  And he swims much faster than me too!  The pushups apparently do not translate to faster swimming times - these mighty pythons***** attached to my shoulders apparently are not water dwelling breed of reptile.

Oh I almost forgot.  I am only 1,000 pushups away from half a MILLION pushups!  Hope I can get there by Christmas******.  It will be my present to society.  you are welcome.  5 years down, 5 to go.  I am thankful for the good health and ability to continue this journey, and pray for that good fortune to continue.

Peace,
Thunder John

Bringin' the thunder, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN.

Footnotes 

* "Sounds of Science", Paul's Boutique, Adam "MCA" Yauch, R.I.P.

** and *** used by implied permission of Chris Hartweg, via public domain and laws of hearsay

**** I am not certain of the etymology of the word "fart", but I'm sure it is interesting.  Look it up why don't you?  Why are you wasting your time reading this blog, and the fourth footnote even?  Get a life.  It's the holidays.  Don't you have a loved one you can call, or if not, a bottle of brown liquor to keep you company?

***** If you've read this far, you should already know what a python is.  If you don't, I am certainly not going to tell you.  Go to your local library and check out a book.  Maybe even a book on snakes - herpetology is section 636.8******* of the Dewey Decimal system.  You're starting to look pathetic.

****** Christmas?  Seriously??  You don't know what Christmas is???

******* Section 636.8 of the Dewey Decimal system is actually cats.  You'll have to do a little research to find a book about pythons.

******** Click to   Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" Team! It's tax deductible

*********  And finally, my appearance at Lowell Elementary School, Oct 8 2014
               Click to view  Thunder John at Lowell Elementary School "Walk to School Day 2014"

Green Buckethead!

March 1, 2014
418,575 pushups completed
581,425 pushups to go
2,091 pushups ahead of schedule

Greetings pushups fans,

Thunder John here.  Time for another blog update.  As you can see from the above tally, the pushups keep rolling like thunder.  I am well on my way to being halfway to my goal of one million pushups in ten years.  Wait, I'm not even halfway done yet?  Aw man.  That is depressing...

For those of you new to the blog, one million pushups in 10 years equates to 274 pushups per day.  So that's what I have to average for ten years to reach my goal. 

So I went to the 2nd annual Green Buckethead Chicago party yesterday at "The Shambles", a bar in the 1st ward in Chicago.  Gamma Alpha Beta fraternity brother Scott Christiansen and his lovely wife Jennifer (formerly Imhof) arranged the event along with 1st ward Alderman Proco Joe Moreno, also a GAB. 

I was blown away by all of the people that came.  I was asked many times about how "Thunder John" was going, by some people I hadn't seen since college!  Very cool.  Here are a few things I learned at the 2nd Annual Green Buckethead Chicago Party:

• Some things never change... including DJ Joe Moreno's CD collection. 
• Jon Swadley's still got it. 

• I now know why Eric Cheez Jensen and Magician Doug Henning are never seen together:

• Hot bartenders drive alcohol sales. 
• In physics terms, gravity is an absolute.  Except as it pertains to Dave Arquilla's hair.  Yes I am jealous.

• Play Coyote Ugly on the TV, and attractive females will jump up on the bar and start dancing.  Thank god they weren't playing "The Full Monty". 
• Brian Lunt is still a hit with the ladies.  Speaking of a head of hair... someone's been using their Pert Plusl 
• The music was too loud for me so I am officially old. 
• And after reviewing this list, I seem to be fixated on hair. 

Yesterday I only did 200 pushups, 74 less than what I need to average to hit my goal.  So I fell behind a little.  But I have a feeling that some generous partygoers might want to donate to my "Nothing But Nets" team, a worthy cause buying malaria nets for African children.  To see more details, see my former blog posts or click the link below.

To join the team and make a donation, click the link below:

Chick here to Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" team!

So that's about it.  Apropos of nothing, some people requested a peek into the world of Thunder John's school appearances, made to inspire kids to do their pushups and learn their math.  Here is a link to a message I sent to a class of fifth graders at Lowell Elementary School in Wheaton, IL:

Click to see Thunder John's Mathletics message to Lowell 5th graders

And here's an appearance I made at their annual "walk to school" day.  Make it at least to the 3 minute mark to see some awesome dancing by Thunder John:  The Interlude Dance!

Thunder John Walk to School Day 2012

So that's about it.  Please feel free to go back and read previous blog posts - some of them are actually funny, unlike this one I am writing while tired, distracted and a bit hungover.  I particularly like the entry from November 2011 when Mrs. Thunder John wrote a "guest" blog. 

Peace Out,

Thunder John

Bringin' the pushups, Packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it Rain!

Nothing MUCH Changes... New Year's Day - Gratuitous Top Ten List

January 10, 2014
404,300 pushups completed
595,725 pushups to go
1,507 pushups ahead of schedule

With apologies to Bono for the title of this blog...

Well it's been 48,675 pushups since my last blog post.  A mere drop in the bucket!  Let's see... well, I've had a request for more news of what's going on with the family and kids in this blog so... what are the top ten things that have happened in the life of Thunder John and Co. whilst performing these 2,435 score pushups that I can think of right now while writing this blog entry:

1.  Drove to Topeka Kansas.  With 4 children.  In one day.  570+ miles.  I love coffee.  And quiet. Went on a run in the Amana Colonies on the way back (we stopped halfway on the way back) and I was attacked by redwing blackbirds.  Slice of life.  It's not all gold, but the blog don't cost nuthin' to read so... just read on, it might get better. 

2.  Sold our old Glen Ellyn house on Anthony St.  Lived there for 11+ years, brought 4 kids home from the hospital, nurtured and shaved 6 moustaches.  Left some of the best neighbors ever.  I'll miss that street.  Moved into another Glen Ellyn house.

3.  Colleen is talking, walking, climbing onto everything, still pooping in a diaper, and thankfully still taking one good nap a day.  She has acquired the nickname, "CoCo", a name shared with a gorilla at Lincoln Park Zoo. 

4.  Jane lost her first tooth on Christmas Eve.  The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus both visited that lucky girl on December 24.  I wonder who would win if they got in a fight?  My money would be on the tooth fairy.  We don't know a whole lot about the tooth fairy, but if the movies have taught me anything it's that it's a "he" not a "she", and he looks a lot like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.   

5.  Jane started kindergarten this year, and May started second grade.  May is playing her first season of park district basketball.  She also discovered iPod's, rolling her eyes, the phrase "Whatever", but still likes hanging out with mommy and daddy and waking us up in the morning... "Why don't you come downstairs already!"  She's starting to get an attitude... I can tell this one's going to be trouble.  Just like Daddy was. 

6.  Patrick played fall baseball, continues to take piano lessons, and can legitimately beat his Dad in a 50 meter freestyle swim race.  He is doing great on the swimming team.  Very proud of that kid.  I can still take him in arm wrestling though.  I think... maybe I should make sure... (quick break to arm wrestle my nine year old)... yep, I beat him.  Best 2 out of 3, but I beat him.

7.  Took a trip to San Diego with Mrs. Thunder John and as a last minute edition, Colleen.  Below is a picture of me doing pushups outside the outfield fence at PetCo park, home of Major League Baseball's San Diego Padre franchise:

8.  Survived the blizzard and cold snap (or was it a cold spell?) of New Year's 2014.  Pipes froze, but didn't burst.  "Bend but don't break", that's the way to go through life.  Way to go pipes!  But with all these pushups I'm doing, ain't no change in the weather that's going to freeze Thunder John's REAL pipes!  The ones in my sleeves.  My arms.  You get it, right?  Let's move on.

9.  As a 40 year old, I PR'd in the Freedom Four Mile Race on July 4.  25m 43sec, 25th overall place.  I know nobody else cares, but hey, it's my blog, and if you made it this far, well then it's your fault for having nothing better to do.  Consider my own horn, tooted.

10.  All three of my children entered the "Reflections" contest at their school.  Each of them had at least one submission make it to the next round of the competition - Patrick wrote a short story, May choreographed a dance routine to Katy Perry's "Roar", and Jane wrote a poem. 

So that's about it.  Not much creative fiction this edition of the blog, but I'll be back with more hooey and applesauce next time.

Peace,
Thunder John

Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain!

PS - finding yourself with nothing to do?  Go on youtube and search for "tim and eric awesome show cinco products".  Check out the "fake" infomercials for the eye tanning system, pasta bear, and food tube.  It's wonderful stuff.