It's a Christmas******* MIRACLE!

December 20, 2014
499,000 pushups completed
501,000 pushups to go
2,286 pushups ahead of schedule

People of Earth,

Thunder John, back again.  Droppin' pushups like Galileo dropped the ORANGE*.

People come up to me all the time and ask me, "What Time is It?"  No, that's irrelevant, they also ask me "Is Thunder John still doing the pushups?"  And the answer to that question is, yes.  Yes I am.

And that's the problem with updating the blog... What can I say that I have not said before?  Yes, the number of posts to this blog has severely decreased.  I've been funneling my creative juices towards Fantasy Football updates and high school referee heckling ("IF YOU HAD ONE MORE EYE YOU'D BE A CYCLOPS**", or "HEY, BLIND MAN, KICK YOUR DOG.... HE'S LYING TO YOU!***" are two of my favorites).  But those are transitory pleasures, gone like a fart**** in the wind and not saved for posterity like this blog.

Ultimately, this pushups blog is history.  It can be difficult to find time to update, post, proofread, and then wait nervously by the computer to see how many pageviews... but the juice is worth the squeeze.  Anything worthwhile involves a little pain.

Speaking of that, I'm writing this blog while watching my kids at swim practice.  Good lord, swimming is a tough sport.  My daughter May is 8 and just swam for 45 minutes.  Patrick is 10 years old and he's doing a 1hr 15 min swim practice right now.  They swim lap after lap after lap... last week i did a workout for 45 minutes, swam about a mile, and I was completely GASSED!  And he swims much faster than me too!  The pushups apparently do not translate to faster swimming times - these mighty pythons***** attached to my shoulders apparently are not water dwelling breed of reptile.

Oh I almost forgot.  I am only 1,000 pushups away from half a MILLION pushups!  Hope I can get there by Christmas******.  It will be my present to society.  you are welcome.  5 years down, 5 to go.  I am thankful for the good health and ability to continue this journey, and pray for that good fortune to continue.

Peace,
Thunder John

Bringin' the thunder, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN.

Footnotes 

* "Sounds of Science", Paul's Boutique, Adam "MCA" Yauch, R.I.P.

** and *** used by implied permission of Chris Hartweg, via public domain and laws of hearsay

**** I am not certain of the etymology of the word "fart", but I'm sure it is interesting.  Look it up why don't you?  Why are you wasting your time reading this blog, and the fourth footnote even?  Get a life.  It's the holidays.  Don't you have a loved one you can call, or if not, a bottle of brown liquor to keep you company?

***** If you've read this far, you should already know what a python is.  If you don't, I am certainly not going to tell you.  Go to your local library and check out a book.  Maybe even a book on snakes - herpetology is section 636.8******* of the Dewey Decimal system.  You're starting to look pathetic.

****** Christmas?  Seriously??  You don't know what Christmas is???

******* Section 636.8 of the Dewey Decimal system is actually cats.  You'll have to do a little research to find a book about pythons.

******** Click to   Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" Team! It's tax deductible

*********  And finally, my appearance at Lowell Elementary School, Oct 8 2014
               Click to view  Thunder John at Lowell Elementary School "Walk to School Day 2014"