"It's the end of the blog as we know it... and I feel fiiine" - R.E.M. Speedwagon (1)

January 1, 2020
1,000,000 pushups down
0 pushups to go
I am done.

To quote a band, I think it was PHISH(2), "What a long strange trip it's been".  

Did I seriously make 26 blog posts in 2010?  Ah, the young.  To have that youthful energy again would be welcomed.  But this old chunk of coal has something that youngster of 36 didn't have - one million pushups under my belt!

And all along the way, this blog has been there to document this mediocre accomplishment.  I have many thanks:


1.  To Mrs. Thunder John.  No, she didn't murder me during her guest blog of November 16, 2011.  She's just had to put up with me dropping and doing 25 during the oddest occasions - in line at the airport, while walking the dog, once during a bris, among others.  But through it all, she has been thoroughly nonplussed.  

2.  To you, the reader of this blog.  "If you are reading this note, I'm already dead".  No, that's not true.  Unless pressing the "Publish" button kills me.  I've just always wanted to type that line in quotes.  Thank you for indulging me.  And now, as Ryan Seacrest(3) used to say on Top 40, "Back to the countdown".

3.  To the students of Lowell Elementary School.  You made me feel like a superhero every time I visited your school.  Thank you for being so gullible.  And fantastic dancers to boot.  We danced to "What does the fox say?", Silento (Whip!  And nene), Robot music, Beyonce, Aretha Franklin's "Think".  Great time, every time.  See the links below(4).

4.  To the people of Japan.  You've always been there for me, from your killer robots to your unrecognizable flavors of potato chips.  I salute you.

5.  Thank you to all the donors to my "Nothing But Nets!"  campaign to send nets to African children who need them to avoid malaria.  You took my vain passion project and helped me turn it into a charitable campaign - nobody can call me a vain prima donna, a preening fool - I'm doing this for charity!  

6.  To my children.  It just seems right to mention them but essentially they did nothing.  

7.  To my various inspirations:  Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea, Andre the Giant, Mr. T, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Randy "Macho Man" Savage aka Randy Poffo and Rick Saucedo(5).  

8.  To all the little people out there.  Though I may not recognize your existence, even as I shuffle by ignoring your extended hand... I salute you here in blog form so that I can continue to look "up and to the left", ignoring you in the flesh.  It's as awkward to me as it is to you.  

9.  To my November 6, 2011 mailbag themed blog entry.  Just re-read it.  Made me laugh, although ONE entry wasn't exactly Politically Correct, and I'm not sure it would fly in today's post-woke world.  See if you can spot it.  Sorry Tyrone.
http://1000000pushupschallenge.blogspot.com/2011/11/mail-bag-thunder-john-to-farmers-thank.html

Nine.  I think that's an appropriate number of thankyous.  Well, I'll miss this blog.  Not as much now as when I was updating it monthly, but it's been fun.  I told myself I wasn't going to cry.... to quote Alice Cooper (6) and Procter and Gamble's (7) baby shampoo, "no more tears". (8) 

Now some of you out there may have expected more FANFARE for the end of this million pushups odyssey... where's the fireworks!  Why didn't he rent out a venue and sell tickets for number 1 million?  At least he could have rassled a bear or something... well that's not just my style.  My bravado is of the literary variety.  In person, I'm as humble as an apple crumble.  So I choose to end this blog with a literary bent, paraphrasing one of the greatest poetic works of the 20th century, "the hollow men" by t.s. eliot (9).  As taught to me by Cath Bergen (10) sophomore year of high school, I think this is an appropriate quote to end the blog with:

"this is the way the blog ends, this is the way the blog ends, this is the way the blog ends... not with a bang but a whimper".

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Brought the pushups, packed the pain, no more pushups - sunny pushups-free skies ahead"

(1)  Actually, just REM.  Here we go... another list of misquotes.  Why does he think these are funny?

(2) - {Yeah yeah I know it's the Grateful Dead- but I'm pretty sure Trey Anastasio has muttered those words at least once along the way}

(3)  Actually, Casey Kasem.  Incidentally, he was also the voice of Scooby Doo.  Look it up - it's true.

(4) Links to my dance appearances at Lowell Elementary:

2012:  Robot Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS417kkUf7Y&t=207s

2013:  Mathletics Message
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xMQTX8-SOo&t=22s

2014:  Inspirational message.  Sorta.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ9syVDkKuE

2015:  Whip and Nene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALRw67YYYCI&t=9s

2018:  Beyonce!  (rhymes with fiance)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbY_O-knhKo&t=29s

2019:  Think!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd3xkoBDcZE

(5) Rick Saucedo, the western suburbs of Chicago's premiere Elvis impersonator.  

(6)  Ozzy Osbourne

(7)  Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo.  

(8) The erroneous quote has run its course...  good thing this is my last blog.

(9)  t.s. eliot is actually correct... even the miscapitalization is appropriate.  Look it up if you don't believe me.

(10)  Actually, taught to us junior year, by Jean Whiteman.  

Thunder John - less than 20,000 pushups to go! A race to the finish

October 19, 2019

980,100 pushups down
19,900 pushups to go
363 pushups ahead of schedule


Thunder John once again retruns to Lowell Elementary for 2019 International Walk to School Day.  Thank you Mrs. Minser for the invitation!  Lowell school is the bomb.

See my link below:  a rousing inspirational speech.  And then the dance moves.  Fast FWD to the 6:00 mark to see Thunder John's dance moves to Aretha Franklin's classic:  Think!

Thunder John 2019 at Lowell Elementary: You better THINK!


The kids in the video are hilarious and great dancers.  Mrs. Minser had a whole routine she sent me, and I am SO out of sync with it... very painful for me to watch.  Thank goodness for the mask!


I am nearing the finish line.  Over 980,000 pushups down.  A mere 19,900 to go!

A lot has changed over the last ten years.  I used to look like this:

Now I look like this:

OK OK, that was photo shopped.  But still, I've aged.  That's why I wear the luchador mask of the blue demon.

Time is a tyrant.  Life is an STD, always fatal.  Too much?  Maybe.  But Thunder John pushes the envelope. 

And I couldn't do this trick again, since I' have one more kid than when I started (and the kids pictured below have grown).

So do I have any wise thoughts as I near the finish line?  Yes, many.  But I'll save them for a future installment.  Right now I have to rush off to Patrick's cross country meet.


Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Thunder John - Let's Move!

October 11, 2018
878,750 pushups completed
121,250 pushups to go
875 pushups ahead of schedule

Thunder John invited back for 2018 International Walk to School Day.  Thank you Mrs. Minser for the invitation!  Lowell school rocks.

Here's a video proving that Thunder John has some dance moves... it's true!  Thank you to my good friend Beyonce (rhymes with "fiance") for supplying the dance music.  Music starts at the 4:00 mark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbY_O-knhKo

Try not to be intimidated by my fantastic dance moves.  I'm just like you.

"Hath not a Thunder John hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as another is?If you prick Thunder John, does he not bleed?"

 Actually, no.  A prick would not be sufficient to cause Thunder John to bleed - it would require an industrial saw with a diamond blade to puncture Thunder John's thick hide.  And even that is purely theoretical.

Thunder John doesn't cheat death... he wins fair and square.

Thunder John once actually appeared on a game show... Wheel of Fortune.  I was the first to spin.  The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

Superman wears Thunder John pajamas to bed.

And so on.

Now let's waive the American Flag and call it a day!  Old Glory waving Old Glory.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

"Who's better than Thunder John"? A short list of big names.

February 13, 2018
812,650 pushups completed
187,350 to go
492 pushups ahead of schedule



Thunder John has been too busy to post.  But not too busy to do pushups.  Still keeping it real for all you little people.  I don't mean that you all are little people figuratively, I mean literally - compared to Thunder John.

It's the nature of the business and I make no excuses for it.  It doesn't make Thunder John better than you - just bigger.  And bigger is better.  So maybe it does.  At least in the sleeves.

Anyway, here is a list of people that I, Thunder John can still look up to: feel free to google them.  Don't cost nuthin'. 

Hulk Hogan (aka Terry Bollea)
Carl Weathers
Jose Canseco
Steven Seagal (from Hard Target)
Barry Foote
Professor Jon Klauss
Greg (Not Bryant) Gumbel
Zeus "Tiny" Lister
Richard Crenna
Dolph Lundgren
Rip Taylor
Paul Lynde
Dick Tidrow
OddJob (from Goldfinger - the guy that threw the hats)
Meshach Taylor
Demond Wilson
Sylvester Stallone
Mr. T
...and that's about it.


Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Rip Taylor, King of Confetti
http://riptaylor.com

The former host of "The $1.98 Beauty Show" and guest star on "The Monkees," Taylor used to celebrate his 39th birthday every year with a scene that The Times said once featured a "lady of the night" vampire with a coffin, a dancing birthday cake and an 8-foot chicken.

Incommunicado

January 9, 2017
702,800 pushups completed
297,200 pushups to go
445 pushups ahead of schedule


ThunderJohn has gone dark but sent this update to his BlogSpot via encrypted message sent roosterback through parts unknown.  Pray that he completes his mission by the pre-determined 12/31/2019 date. 


Peace Out,
Thunder John


"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

Thunder John Inspires Youth! To Dance! And Donate to save a life!

November 5, 2015
586,400 pushups completed
413,600 pushups to go
2,063 pushups ahead of schedule

Quick post for all my die hard fans:  I made my annual journey to Lowell Elementary school in Wheaton, IL,  to promote their "Walk to school Day".  This is the one day per year when Thunder John is treated like royalty, a real celebrity.  Thank you, P.E. teacher (and Aunt extraordinaire) Maryanne Minser for the invitation.  Here is a selfie of me with the school principal and all of our adoring fans:

"Principal Melton:  She puts the PAL in principal!"

And click the link below to see Thunder John "Whip!"... and then "Ne-Ne" in front of the school.  I believe at some point, I also do the dance move known as the "stanky leg".  Thank goodness for the mask.

Thunder John Dances at Lowell Elementary 2015

Speaking of clicking on links... do you have a bunch of money burning a hole in your bank account?  Want to do something really worthwhile?  Well then, please consider donating to Thunder John's "Nothing but Nets" team.   "Nothing But Nets" is a great charity providing life saving nets to families in Africa at risk of contracting malaria.

Read Rick Reilly's article describing the team:  he really puts it in perspective. 

Nothing But Nets Article - Rick Reilly

Instead of buying that new pair of Nike Elite socks (which are $17 by the way, far more than the $10 cost of each net) or Ticket to your next terrible Vin Diesel movie, consider a small donation by clicking the link below.

Join Thunder John's "Nothing But Nets" team!

My apologies to Vin Diesel.  I didn't mean it.  I also live my life, one quarter mile at a time. 

Donate to the team!  It's entirely tax deductible, a real charity I swear.  I don't wet my beak, even a little.

Well, that's enough of that.  Peace out,

Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it RAIN"

ps - still need incentive to donate?  are you made of stone?  have you no HEART, sir?  Come on!  Just $10 could save a life.  Maybe YOURS*!

* - your life will probably not be the one that is saved, unless you are reading this blog, lying on an uncovered cot in Africa, about ready to go to sleep for the night.  If this is you, then you are at risk.  All for want of a $10 net.   

#itsbeenawhile - #still pushin it #ThunderJohn8

August 30, 2015
567,875 pushups completed
432,125 pushups to go
1,610 pushups ahead of schedule

Welcome back, Thunder John fans!  To quote the acquired taste band Creed, "it's been a while".

And even though Creed is a taste I have never personally acquired, I still think you should quote Creed whenever possible.  Just look at these lyrics!

"Court is now in session,
A verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today"

.. now that's a pop song baby!
#ScottStapptastic

Funny thing I just realized... I've never mentioned Salt N Pepa's "Push It" in this blog.  Well let's keep that streak alive.  #c+cmusicfactorydiditbetter  #everybodydancenow

********************
As you might have noticed, I now have a Twitter Handle.  It's #ThunderJohn8.  Some poser already had #ThunderJohn.  Can you believe that?  And I went with ThunderJohn8 instead of ThunderJohn1 because, well, I don't know, I just think it looked better.
#barryfooteworenumber8     #sodidAndreDawson

So check out my twitter feed.  They say it's blowing up  #likediarrhea  #dontbegross

********************
Back to Creed...  despite the best efforts of lead singer Scott Stapp, the band Creed is not even the most quotable Creed.  I'm talking of course of Rocky 1 - IV star Apollo Creed, played by Carl Weathers.  To wit:

Rocky:  "Apollo Creed vs. the Italian Stallion. Sounds like a damn monster movie. "
Rocky II:  Apollo: This man is dangerous? I'm dangerous! I'm dangerous! 
Rocky III:   THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW! 

Rocky IV:  "Well, I've been with the best, and I've BEAT the best! I've retired more men than Social Security! "

Carl Weathers.  From Rocky to Predator to Happy Gilmore, he can simply act.
#areyouhavingastrokeThunderJohn?
#maryreilly

********************

Speaking of Carls...
#whenwerewespeakingofCarls?  #istoppedpayingattention

I heard there is going to be another Rocky movie.  It's a spinoff where Rocky trains Apollo's son to be a fighter.  I love spinoffs.  Almost always they are great, sometimes eclipsing the original.  To wit:

All in the Family --&;The Jeffersons -->Maude --> Good Times -->Golden Girls

Cheers --> Fraser --> Dallas --> Knots Landing
#willthisblogeverend?

Happy Days -->Laverne and  Shirley -->Mork and Mindy -->Star Wars I:  Phantom Menace

The Cosby Show --> A Different World --> Sinbad (Sinbad once did an entire comedy special in a jumpsuit)

But do you know what was the most outrageous spinoff?

Die Hard --> Family Matters.

Reginald VelJohnson was the twinkie eating cop who Bruce Willis was talking with from the Nakatomi Plaza... he was the only cop on the outside who would listen and helped him bring down the terrorists.
#worstblogentryever

So what came next for the terrorist beating, twinkie chomping supercop I know as Reggie VJ?

He then became Carl Winslow, the Urkel-tormented father on "Family Matters"!  That show ran from 1988 - 1998 and became a syndication powerhouse.  Pair "Family Matters" with a little "Perfect Strangers", "Amazing Stories" and "Golden Girls", you've got a perfect Friday night, according to a teenage John Adduci.

#poorlighting

#saywhatyouwill #abouttheblog  #thisphotoisprettycool

Reginald VelJohnson imdb page

********************

Pushups.  This is a pushups blog.  Right.  So I'm still ahead of pace, and I'm still going to complete my one millionth pushup by 12/31/2019.  Put the champale on ice, I'm less than 4 1/2 years away!

Peace,
#ThunderJohn8

"#Bringin'thethunder, #packin'thepain, #loadedwithpushups - #makin'itRAIN"