Less of Thunder John to Love

June 30, 2011
154,200 pushups completed
845,800 pushups to go
4,693 pushups ahead of schedule

Greetings blog fans!  Here are a few very stupid things a person can do:

• Step on Superman's cape
• Start a land war in Asia
• Spit into the wind
• Throw an 0-2 change-up out over the plate
• "Trial and error" home electrical repairs
• Have a weight loss contest with Jon Swadley

Our first weigh in was today.  This is the 18th day of our contest.  If you recall from two posts ago, I weighted in at 190.0 on June 12, Swadley was 180.0.  Since Jon is leaving town for the 4th of July, we decided to weigh in tonight. 

I went first.
178.5 lbs!  That's 11.5 lbs of weight loss in 18 days.  I've been practically starving myself, skipping meals, running multiple times per day, when I do eat it's mostly fruits / veggies / chicken, only skim milk in my coffee, freshly clipped fingernails and toenails... doing everything I could to cut weight.  And I was happy with my results.

Then Swadley went...
167.5 lbs.  12.5 lbs of weight loss, and he claims to not have been trying too hard until the last week.

So it looks like I owe him 3 hours of yard work. 

The rest of this blog will be dedicated to how Swadley could have cheated.

TOP TEN WAYS THAT JON SWADLEY CHEATS AT WEIGHT LOSS CONTESTS

10.  Has a mouse in his pocket (initial weigh in only)
9.   Mexican diuretics
8.   Cries himself to sleep each night, causing severe dehydration
7.   Kardashian brand posterior implants (initial weigh in only)
6.  Bone shaving
5.  Shaved backhair between weigh ins.
4.  Has a mouse in his other pocket (initial weigh in only)
3.  Did ten pushups once.  Never again.
2.  New Merkt's cheese with negative caloric content (Jon works for Merkt's, the port wine cheese people)
1.  Eats less, exercises more

What was this blog about again?  Pushups?  OH yeah, I have been pushin' them out like Salt N Pepa. 
Check my stats above.  Ah. Push it.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

Bringin the thunder, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain!

The weight loss contest is not going too well

June 20, 2011
151,575 pushups completed
848,425 pushups to go
4,806 pushups ahead of schedule

I still have 13 days to go until weigh in #1

Bringin' the thunder, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain

Game ON Fat boy!

June 13, 2011
149,600 pushups completed
850,400 pushups to go
4,748 pushups ahead of schedule

Had a bit of a health scare since my last post...

During my annual physical my weight was... 190 lbs.  I've never been heavier.  Sure, it's all 100% USDA upper body beef.  But still... there's a saint's whisper of a chance that I may have also added a sliver of two of marbling.  So.  Here we are.

I have a friend Jon Swadley who you might remember from older posts.  He is a triathlete like me, only slower.  In any case, since the close of last year's triathlon season he's let himself go.  I apologize if I'm being cryptic.  He's a real tub of lard.  Just... disgusting.  Jon is tipping the scales at an unheard of 180 lbs. 

We bumped into each other over the weekend.  Once all the jiggling stopped, we decided that it was time to do something about this.  Leveraging our competitive natures, we chose a weight loss contest.  Starting with a weigh in on Sunday June 12, we will have two subsequent weigh ins, one on  July 3 and one on August 7, to see who can lose the most weight.  The loser of each weigh in owes the winner 3 hours of yard work. 

If I win, I think I'll just have Swadley roll me around my yard in a rickshaw.

We did this once before two years ago.  I lost 17 lbs in 4 weeks.  Jon lost over twenty.  My goal this time is 15 lbs by August 7. 

In any case, the pushups are going well, even with all the extra weight I've been carrying up and down.  Up and down.  Up and down... one hundred and fifty thousand times so far.  850,000 to go.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups -Makin' it rain!"

p.s.  To Join Thunder John's Nothing But Nets Team, click this link:
http://www.globalproblems-globalsolutions.org/site/TR/Events/NBN?px=2538282&pg=personal&fr_id=1040

p.p.s  To contribute to Aidan's Army, click this link:
http://www.aidansarmy.org/

Where's the Beef? Check the sleeves.

May 17, 2011
142,400 pushups completed
857,600 pushups to go
4,941 pushups ahead of schedule

Random thoughts from Thunder John:

Time is a tyrant.  I can't believe it's been 49 days since I have updated this blog.  Since that time the Chicago Bulls have taken the NBA playoffs by storm, Japan has been ravaged by an earthquake / tsunami / nuclear disaster, and me and my huge pipes Navy seals have brought Osama Bin Laden finally to justice. 

Women are a labyrinth.  My wife Molly is right now watching a cooking show, "America's Test Kitchen" featuring how to cook barbecued ribs.  However, she has repeatedly told me that barbecue as a genre and ribs in particular are foods that are not high on her list of favorites.  She will cook me no ribs, and so I will taste no more ribs forever.  This is textbook passive aggressive behavior. 

Where's the beef?  Check the sleeves. 

Charity begins at home.  Or if you prefer, on the internet.  Please remember to join Team ThunderJohn and consider contributing to Nothing But Nets using the following link:

http://www.globalproblems-globalsolutions.org/site/TR/Events/NBN?px=2538282&pg=personal&fr_id=1040

Or become a member of Aidan's Army
http://www.aidansarmy.org/

Let me know of your contribution so that you can participate in Thunder John's incentive program.  See my last blog post for the scale of achievement.  You too can achieve Adlai Stevenson status, or perhaps aspire to join Thunder John's circle of honor.

Peace Out,
Thunder John

"Bringin' the pushups, packin' the pain, loaded with pushups - makin' it rain"

Addendum 5/24/2011:  R.I.P. Downers Grove native Randy Poffel, aka Randy "Macho Man" Savage.  No one will ever know why he was the only one taken in the rapture.  Snap into a Slim Jim.   Oh yeah.

An inspiration to pushup enthusiasts and spiced meat snack lovers alike